Today I Did Not Win $350,000

Cheap wine in a Mickey Mouse mug. Torn flannel pajama pants. Heavy heart. Check, check, checkity-check!

It is time to review a few of my life's disappointments thus far.

1. The moment I realized that my first love had a second date waiting in the wings on his senior prom night. (May 1997)

2. The moment I realized that my date wasn't ever going to pick me up on my senior prom night. (May 1999)

3. Losing the eighth grade student council election. I made an Acrostic poem with the letters of my name and everything. I'm still baffled by the loss. (October 1994)

4. Realizing that I would have to return to work, leaving my son in the care of someone other than myself. That one really hurt. (August 2010)

5. The day I found myself on a local television talk show as one of thirteen finalists in a contest to pay off your mortgage up to 350k. The man sitting next to me won. I sat in his residual confetti and wept silently with a television camera in my face. That was today. Today I did not win a contest to pay off my mortgage. Today I did not find a way to magically eradicate my debt, fix my oven, fence, or hole above window that lets in the rain. Today I did not receive the miraculous gift of financial freedom, thereby allowing me to spend more time doing the thing I love the most--being baby JAR's mom. Today I did not get to sit on the couch and describe my feelings to the television viewers of our region. I did however win tickets to a "lusty ghost tour." (October 10, 2011)

So... let's review.

I was never meant to partake in the joys of high school prom. Politics are clearly not my thing (though Acrostic poems definitely are). Leaving my child in the care of someone else will never be easy for me. I should only spend one evening drinking and mourning the loss of a yellow pages sweepstakes. And of course, I'm pretty damn lucky to have such a short list.