Baby's First House of Hazards

Baby JAR's current obsession is electrical outlets. He loves unplugging every appliance he can reach. It never fails to delight him when the lamp shuts off as he pulls the plug. He is also hell bent on plugging everything back in. This is the part that causes me the most angst. I watch those chubby little fingers pressed against the prongs as he attempts to jam it into a live connection of 125 volts. Jesus help us.

Between the two bookshelves is an electrical outlet

He has plenty of toys. Educational toys. Toys that develop color and shape recognition, fine and gross motor skills, imaginary play, and speech and language. So why is my little Einstein kicking his feet with joy as he sucks on a 3-prong type B plug?

Inspired by baby JAR's thrill seeking behavior, I have decided to invent the ultimate baby toy. I will call it "Baby's First House of Hazards." It will be a playhouse teeming with faux hazards for baby to explore. There will be electrical sockets and plugs galore (no live connections of course), a fireplace that never gets hot, bookshelves full of lightweight books perfect for throwing to the ground, and expensive-looking electronics covered in buttons and lights. Of course, this toy will only be effective if introduced properly. Parents must attempt to limit baby's access with a gate or verbal warnings. Every time baby crawls to the playhouse, parents should say something ridiculous like, "No, no baby. Ouchies!" This is guaranteed to increase the appeal and longevity of the toy.

It goes without saying that I will create accessory packages for Baby's First House of Hazards. They will be available for purchase by age/development level. For instance, the toddler package will have a blank wall and several tubes of lipstick.